Healthy Relationships

A relationship refers to a connection, association, or involvement between persons by blood or marriage. God is the author of relationships; He exists in a triune nature (God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit). As a matter of fact we are most Christ like when we exist in relationship with other people. The Apostle Paul admonishes believers not to forsake the assembling together, in the book of Hebrews 10:25

“Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” KJV.

Many research studies have shown that satisfying relationships are

associated with better health, greater happiness, and even longer life. This effect is not limited to romantic relationships; close friendships and social connections with family and members of the community can also help in one’s health.

On the flipside; the most effective way the devil gets individuals out of their divine destiny is by emotionally connecting them with the wrong people. This is particularly so in romantic relationships. Romantic relationships are meant for oneness, it is the closest one can ever get to another human being. Stories abound in the bible, traditional folklore and history books of individuals who lost their way, sometimes irreversibly, after getting emotionally entangled with the wrong people.

The Apostle Paul tells us in II Corinthians 6:14-16: “Do not try to work together as equals with unbelievers, for it cannot be done. How can right and wrong be partners? How can light and darkness live together? How can Christ and the Devil agree? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? How can God’s temple come to terms with pagan idols? For we are the temple of the living God” (GNB).

Interestingly, a healthy and fulfilling relationship is not as simple as getting involved with a believer. It is much more complex than that. We will be attracted, drawn, compelled to what is unfinished in us from our families of origin. This is because our families of origin form the blue print of our romantic relationships. It is therefore imperative for us as believers to complete any unfinished business by healing from past hurts.

One needs to build a deep relationship with God before getting into a relationship with another person. A relationship with God is the foundation of all other relationships. A person whose life is devoid of God has significant unmet emotional needs. This causes him/her to walk about as a half person, constantly seeking another half person to provide the missing half. This halfness, this less-than-wholeness, incidentally is the root of many tragic problems in marital relations.

You do not need a romantic partner/marriage partner to be happy. You may want a partner as part of your natural drive for sexual love and emotional bonding. You can achieve the best when you are fully submitted to God and living in your purpose. This way, you are likely to enjoy the beauty and glory of healthy romantic love.

Healthy relationships are characterized by the following:

  1. Healthy detachment- ability to enjoy each other’s company as well as moments of aloneness without anxiety, anger and/or resentment.

  2. Honesty- in intention, words and actions.

  3. Self-care- it is the responsibility of each partner to either meet their own needs or ask for their needs to be met in an honest, direct and candid manner.

  4. Love for each other- a relationship is as much about giving love as it is about receiving. One cannot be in a relationship alone.

  5. Tackling problems- avoidance does not solve any problems.

  6. Being flexible to negotiate differences that may arise in the course of the relationship.

A healthy relationship is not a crusade, charity event, an evangelistic campaign or ministry; it is a mutually beneficial/reciprocal and voluntary union of hearts, minds and bodies.

Dr. Rose Kwamboka Misati

Parenting and Relationships Coach


Tel +254722440128

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